I've been diagnosed with an Atrial Septal Defect.. a hole in the upper part of my heart.. I can't afford surgery and my substance abuse makes it worse.. I've been experiencing symptoms and I've been told if not taken care of I will die of heart failure... and as scared as I am of dying.. I don't think i could care less. I don't know how to live each day like i'm dying basically because each day i live i spend my time looking for drugs and alcohol anyway way to get high to make me feel..normal?
Maybe I'm going crazy, or maybe i don't know how to deal with the things thrown my way.. or maybe i'm just to die and be forgotten because i have nothing else to live.
If i died.. do you think anyone would miss me?