lynxyoukai (lynxyoukai) wrote in bleeding_fae,
lynxyoukai
lynxyoukai
bleeding_fae

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...

I'm new here...but this seemed like a community for me. I'm different than some of you...or those of you who I've read posts of...which isn't too many actually. I don't cut and I don't drink much. I smoke heavily and think of cutting but I don't. It isn't because I think it's wrong or anything (which it is, even if my mind can find reasons to do it) but because I care too much about those around me. I injure myself, but not physically...it's a mental thing with me. This has nothing to do with the fact that I care about myself but for the fact that I care about those around me...the people who, for whatever reason, care about me. I don't feel my pain is worthy of causing them sadness...if they could/would forget about me I have no question that I would cut...that I'd probably kill myself. I just don't feel i have the right to cause them that pain...that sadness and so, my wounds are mental. Rather than scar myself I scar my psyche and my spirit. I'm the guy who sits in the corner or in his room thinking about how nice it would be to see my own blood...to feel the life spilling out of me...staining the floor... Well, that's all I have to say for now...comment if you feel like it...but please don't feel sorry or bad or anything for me...too many people feel for me already...
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